Sunday, May 29, 2005

I am very happy over the successful establishing of the guanyue blog. Haha. Its always good to remain in contact with friends other than merely possesing email addresses, isn't it? Haha. Quite stressed (but not now) for SAT, coz I am trying to take chem for SAT II (note that I am not a chem student). Worried that I will just do terribly for the paper and fail it (OMG, touch wood!). Anw, many pple tell me its just a test and dun over-stress yourself so I guess I should relax and decide whether I should take Chem on the day itself. Haha. Sunny side up on tuesday. Enjoy myself there. Haha.

Monday, May 23, 2005

Feeling sad that I am leaving CO, and probably not coming back to one again. I have always seen CO as part of my school life. And its now really sad to leave it. I also feel sad that I am leaving my juniors. I was really bonded to them. Its really different from by feelings for the seniors. Think its because we went through much more than what we went through with the seniors. Haiz. Dun know how to put my feelings in words. Anw, think the most I can put in words is that I love you, my section mates. I love every one of you. Saying a very reluctant goodbye to my beloved CO.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

My feeling over the past few days is... how to describe... Mixed. Sad over leaving CO, happy over having concert... like ���缈讳��浜���崇��. Haha. But I must say that I love you, Guan Yue people. You are the best friends I ever have till now. I shall remember every moment I spent with you. Wow, sound like I making some promise like that. But I mean what I say. I love every one of you, Wei Yuan and Wen Wen and Wang Yue and Aaron and Meng Yang and Chen Wei and Zi Han and Huiling and Ben Ang and Wei Xiong and Khai Yu and Yeow Fong and Yi Jing and Elizabeth and Zi Qun and Guan Yuan (in no order of preference, actually in order). Really cannot bear to leave the CO. Really. I may not be as thoughtful as some who bought flowers or cards to give others, but my love for you is no less than them. I must say again that Guan Yue people, I love you! I love you always.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

I think that my previuos post has made many people ask me if I was targeting them. The answer is 'no' to all but one person. Hmmm, really cannot stand that guy.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Some times I just cannot stand some people. They are simply a pain in the ass, dun know how to consider the feelings of others. Think themselves are very great, very clever, very capable; so ego. They are actually those that others detest, hate them like hell, yet they still think that they are very well-liked by others. Don't know how to reflect on their behaviours. Hope that these people will wake up one day and make the lives of others less miserable. Seriously, these are the people who really make your life suck.

Hope that I will never be like them.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Ok, its not that I dun like blogging, but sometimes I really have nothing to write about. Sometimes I really felt like writing about what I felt internally, but simply couldn't put it on the blog, for its not my personal dairy. So sort of made blogging lose part of my initial intention of having a dairy online. However, still liked it coz it allowed me to say certain things that I would not have said in front of others. Not that I have lots to comment on, but I feel that some things have to be said. Make no sense right? Nvm, ignore this posting.

Sometimes simply feel that I am very stupid and slow, cannot understand things. Sad. Why? Stupidity, pure stupidity. Not referring totally to acadamics, but other things also. Haiz.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Was at CO practice tonight. The discipline was really. Its not that I am a busybody, but sometimes I really cannot stand people who are just not serious when they are supposed to be, people who insist on talking when someone is saying something that concerns the whole CO. I know that people dislike being controlled by others or ordered around, especially those from RJ. But sometimes discipline is necessary for a group to succeed. I don't like the idea of putting up a horrible concert, but I think if we continue to be so not serious, we will put up a terrible concert. This is seriously what I feel. I know that Alory is not very liked by many, but what he said tonight is at least true about 80% of the time. Some may think that our behaviour is not very bad actually, but really, sometimes I really cannot stand it. I know that I should not be bothering about this business, but there are times that I felt that sometimes somethings have to be said. What Alory said about our discipline was true. The concert is nine days away, and that's not a lot of time. Listening to practice today, I think people should really get out of the mood that we are really good, for we are not.

Maybe what I said just now may have made some people feel unhappy, but thats what I really felt. Really.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Just finished SAT I, finally no more word lists, at least for the time being, during lesson times. Haha, so happy. Word lists are so sickening. I hate it. Was at the test centre today then discovered some people cheating, start work on a section first before being told to do so. Din report coz dun want to create a scene there. Quite interesting questions for this year's sat, especially the maths section. Haha, innovative questions. Shall not talk about it any more. Hope that my results will be up to my expectation.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Heard about how Chorale and Band got gold without honors. Led me to suspect that somebody out there is targeting at RJ (you know who). This time even the chorale who have given once in a lifetime performance has not being able to win the honors despite four other more lousy chorales getting honors. Its not fair. What is happening? Is it because RJC is simply too good that others want revenge at every possible opportunity, to mark RJC down so that we will not be able to get what we deserve and not let others get what they don't deserve. I know this sounds very ego, but this is the fact, this is the fact that everyone knows, everyone can see, everyone can hear. Those behind all this unfair judging is simply trying to boast the ego of other JCs and trying to kill the RJ pride. But this should not be the case. Why should people who have worked hard not get what they deserve while those who have not worked so hard get what they don't deserve because, probably, they are from other JCs and not RJ? What message is being sent here?

Simply felt that a real unjustice has being done to RJ, not only to CO, but to many others. Think that there are many people out there who share similar thoughts with me. However I am not trying to send any message hidden between the lines, but just trying to say that as long as we felt that we have not let ourselves down, its enough. We know what we deserve, we know what we ought to get. This is enough.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Feeling really sad now. CO only got gold in the SYF. Its not that gold is not good, just that we all believe that we should get gold with honors, and our seniors, our instructors and many other professionals. probably its just like what our conductor lao zhou said, its a gamble. You gamble that they will listen t your good points instead of your bad points. We gambled, and lost. Many of the CO members cried, especially the girls. Think the boys just don't want to let tears fall out of their eyes. Everyone was sad, and constantly blamed themselves for not playing well.

But I think that whatever we got, its over. We have done our best and have not let our conscious down. There are better things to look forward to, and the world is not coming to an end. We must still fulfill our duty as a student after we have fulfilled our duty as a RJCO menber.

It takes courage to accept failures, especially for those who have not tasted failure before.

Its the process that is the most important, not the final outcome.

Quoting our school motto, Auspicium Melioris Aevi.

Monday, May 02, 2005

Seriously very long haven updated my blog. Very busy, actually also very lazy to update. Tmr is syf. Hope we will get the result we all wish to get. SAT this sat. Hope that I will get what I want to get also. Dun really know what to say. Hope...